"Every 4th Bulgarian Voter Agrees to be Bribed Cheaply"

So what?

Every U.S. legislator agrees to be bribed expensively...

"Arab Potentates and Chinese Kick Tyres at Nama"

I wish my clip art drawing skills were up to producing a cartoon to illustrate this headline...

http://www.independent.ie/business/irish/arab-potentates-and-chinese-kick-tyres-at-nama-2836042.html

An Illicit Hotel in Sweden.. for Hedgehogs

"Police raided the apartment of a woman in Gävle in eastern Sweden after being tipped off that she was caring for a wild hedgehog."

"Lost Berry Pickers Keep Finnish Police Busy"

Reports of berry pickers who have gone missing keep police busy during the berry picking season in Finland, according to a statement by Finnish police on Friday.

Often the reason for berry pickers getting lost is carelessness, such as dropping one’s phone while picking berries, and these cases unnecessarily waste police time.

In the statement police urged berry pickers to be better prepared in the future in order not to waste police time.

"Snake Between the couple snuggling in bed Kitee"

This story really deserves the entire transliteration:

 

Lappeenranta, Finland. Identical Crystal scared the pants off a couple on Wednesday morning, When The bed was found a fair-meter-long snake. Residents ran urgently bedroom and shut the door. North Karelia Rescue Department arrived in. The first look for The Uninvited guests, but it was not discovered until check on the host Vented cabinet. The snake had found a hiding place in the Depths.

According to rescuers, it behaved meekly When closed.

Snake in a box hire the vet, the pet WHO Recognized To Be Held viljakäärmeeksi. The animal had apparently escaped from the cloud blocks from one of the Tenant.

"Man dies in savage law mowing accident"

This is a really tragic story. The ironies would compound if he'd ever hated the music of Savage Garden for an unknown reason.

Finnish Translator's Error Leads to Deadly Recipe in Cookbook

One of the recipes in Ruokasuosikit Italia lists "false morels" as an ingredient in one of the recipes.

Apparently these false morels are fatal unless parboiled twice and properly rinsed to eliminate the Gyromitra esculenta fungus.

The correct morels are the "true morels."

This is the second such incident in Finnish cookbooks in the last year, which leads me to believe that translators may have a lack of morels.

Ferry forced to stop because of a vortex.

Finland Suomenlinna ferry was forced to brake suddenly on the Helsinki Market Square in front of Wednesday afternoon because of a vortex. 

Pastafarian wins right to wear religious headgear in Driver's License photo

His religious relics of choice? A pasta colander.

This is a very holy object in the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. 

It strains credulity.  

Warsaw Train Station Gets Artsy (Fartsy?) Toilets

"There is no comparing it with the previous toilet," said cleaning woman Barbara Stopinska, 56. "This is much easier to clean. You really want to work here."

Depressed ferret escapes with ape and parrot

I love this article. 

"“Our ferret is a heavy eater and lazy too. He always takes long breaks after working,” the director said"

Special bomb disposal forces open abandoned bag and find..

Abandoned tortoises.

Tortoises naturally carry as much body armor as bomb-disposal police.

"Lithuanian and Belarusian relationship lacking zest and drive"

There is medication for ho-hum diplomatic relationships in the FSU. It's called vodka.

VIRAL TEXT MESSAGE CALLS FOR INCUBUS PROTEST IN THE PHILIPPINES

"I have protested the band for many years now quietly within the comfort of my own home, perhaps its now time for me to take to the streets with my anti-Incubus campaign :-)" - Ben

School Bell Turns Out to Be A Bomb

This is almost the worst news I've ever read.

<Insert token Saved by the Bell joke here>

Pamela Anderson Charms Copenhagen Police

Because lifeguards on the North Sea can't wear swimsuits.

{And 5 sleeper agents of Al-Qaida sneak through security as she deboards the plane...}

Angry Elves Appeased by Icelandic Municipal Government

"He's an ANGRY elf."

Finland's Official Village Idiot, Found

Not sure why this was a headline - it only makes sense that he would be lost!
The real question is - is becoming official village idiot an elected position? And if so, do candidates run or are they nominated?

Homeless Man Burgles Home To Read a Book

And other juicy information!

Brought to you by Lisbon Police Reports.

The Running of the Brides in Serbia

A picture is worth a thousand dollars in bridesmaid's dresses. 

Largest and Most Complete Collection of Spuds in the World

Who can guess what country this wonderful new high-tech tourist destination calls home?
Peru.

You say potato. They say patata (really, that's Spanish).

The Bulgarian Banksy...

Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No...

It's an old Soviet-era statue.

One of the top things on my bucket list is to go on a Banksy tour in England... Now I'll need to add Bulgaria.

Hello

For the last month and a half, I have been amused by global news headlines and stories and unable to adequately share them. These are the events I would send out notifications to if this was my company. So, please enjoy the headlines it's possible to stumble upon at 3 AM when researching international security conditions.